Archive for the 'fatherhood' Category


Welcome to the planet Logan Xavier Tom.

Logan Birth-1-8

Welcome to the planet.
Welcome to existence.
Everyone’s here.
Everyone’s watching you now.
Everybody waits for you now.
What happens next?

Logan Xavier Tom, Born August 27th 2008, 5:22PM, 8lbs15oz, 21 1/2in long

I comforted. I took pictures. I cried.
Who is this new person in my life? Up until this day I couldn’t imagine how I could possibly love another child as much as I love my firstborn. Now I have some idea.
God help me.

Logan Birth-1-2


savvydaddy logo

Jayden Bathtime

Do you want to be a better dad?
How about a savvy daddy? founder and ABCPastor friend, Tony Chen has launched, the web magazine/community dedicated to fueling your passion to be a great dad. They’ve got a good start and some big ideas that I can’t wait to see realized.

Go Now!

savvydaddy logo


Daddy Survey

wanna be a better dad? i know i do.
my boy tony, creator of the healthcare blog, needs your help to help superdads everywhere with savvy daddy. first he’s trying to get as many dads as possible to take this 10min web survey. so check out the link below and pass it along to savvy daddies like you.

or go directly to the survey here

need incentive? ok, one lucky dad will win $200 in American Express Gift Cheques (or if you choose, savvy daddy will donate the $200 to your selected charity). plus, you’ll be helping them figure out how to create something that’ll be useful and fun for you.


Savoring the Moment

The other day I resisted the urge to put the kabash on Jayden’s television watching. He was watching sesame street. I’m so glad that’s still on. Well, I was at the dining table working on my sermon. The credits were rolling and I was about to get up and grab the control and let him know that his time is up. But I didn’t right away this time. When the credits roll he puts on this little dance. He’s so in the moment – so happy. so free. it’s his time and it’s my time.

He’s engaged in his own reality in front of this light box and from the dining table I was watching mine. It was a precious moment taking a breath, watching him dance along with the rolling credits.
I need to breathe more.
Gosh I love this kid so much.

Here are some more moments to savor

That’ll give you a rash. . . I hear child services ringing. [link]

This is why our son doesn’t gain much more weight. He falls asleep eating! [link]


i heart jayden not original sin

ok…onward with the jayden videos.
here’s a fresh one of us playing the N-O game.
the terrible twos actually start much earlier than 24mos. i read that it’s around 15mos. no was just one of those words that seemed so natural for him to say. i really wish he wouldn’t use the word so liberally most times but how could you resist when he says it so…cutely.
we seriously have to take parenting to another level since we give jayden choices. he’s learning that daddy and mommy do respect his N-Os but not always. he still has no concept of consequences. just a sucker for pain. like father like son. o original sin. sigh.


Jayden and Apple

I received my Apple mug today straight from 1 Infinite Loop –
but someone loves my mug more than me…

Jayden Loving the Apple Mug Jayden Loving the Apple Mug Jayden Loving the Apple Mug


jayden update . . .

i think i’ve turned this into the official jayden blog. hollaback if you’re fans of jayden!!!

i can’t help it. he’s my son and he’s just that cute! life has not been the same. seriously though i’ve learned some incredible lessons through him. he’s finally on solids now! check out the latest video posted on youtube. he’s learning how to eat and having a grand time doing it.

there’s other vids there, if you’re interested. enjoy!

asian dad . . .
i found that i’m already being a typical asian dad. yesterday jayden went to see the doctor and got 3 shots. brave boy. he was measured and weighed as well. as it turns out jayden at 6mos old is at 25th percentile for height, weight, head size. my reaction was like, what? only 25th percentile? what’s wrong? what’s up with that? where’s the other 75 percent? i can’t even imagine what 100 percent would even be like but still AIYA! sigh…i love this kid anyway. i’m still learning. i don’t know nothing about this dad stuff. he makes me laugh from deep inside out and melts my heart faster than butter on a hot plate.


beyond cute

more than just cute…
i’d love to tell you all about this experience of my being a new father except i’m not sure where to even begin. is there even time to process it all or be still in between all the crying, feedings, burpings, rocking, changings? and that’s just me. well, almost three weeks later, i’m still standing.

we just don’t picture in our minds the all work involved in having a child. we just ooh and aww at all the cuteness. babies are definitely cute no doubt — especially mine. wink. wink. we’re better parents before we actually become parents. it’s already time to start building habits into his life like helping him sleep on his back. jayden loves sleeping on daddy’s chest on his tummy. however, daddy will never get any sleep that way or worst yet, drop his little precious some point 4am in the morning. already, i’m spoiling him. i’ll put him down in his sleeper and moments later he’ll get fussy which means he’s not going to sleep. i need to show him that it’s night time and people sleep – on their backs.

so here’s the lesson: rather than taking the easy way out for the short term satisfaction, allowing him to sleep on my chest for the duration of the night just so he’ll stop fussing, crying and just simply sleep, i’ll have to keep putting him down in the sleeper each and every time throughout the night even if he’ll fuss all night so that he’ll learn to not be attached to me, sleep in his own bed and on his back at night. this may take many nights.

kinda reminds me of a scene in top gun, is maverick going to fly again? we’ll just “keep sending him up”. there may be some places in our lives where we’d like to be comfortable or that we default to because it’s just plain easier but God may have other plans to kick that habit out of our lives and push us to be stretched to grow.

as new parents, we can’t really complain. overall, jayden’s a very good baby in my opinion. he doesn’t cry throughout the night. we actually get some moments of rest. gosh darnnit, even when he does something unpleasant, he’s just so cute that we’re won over. and now we know some things that he can’t stand like, being naked, getting his diaper changed, being hungry very long and of course sleeping on his back.


jayden :: the man, the boy, the name

welcome home…

jayden nathaniel tom
we’re certified.
officially home with the munchkin. total hours of sleep since monday night? 7 hours for mum and dad.
nobody ever tells you just how hard this is. well, it is just about the hardest thing i know. just to give you all an idea, since most of you shouldn’t have any kids yet. we feed him about every 2-3 hours, even throughout the night, or whenever he wants. diapers are easy, except when there’s something else that’s making him uncomfortable. what that is exactly, is part of the game. breaking baby code is the key to success. or maybe not. what does this cry mean? how’s this different than the last time? when he’s uncomfortable he looks completely miserable. it’s kinda heartwrenching, surprising, and funny all at the same time. last night he learned how to really scream, like a banshee.
even with all that our son is a real hoot. he’s our boy.
babies sometimes remind me of monchichis. jayden may not have all that hair but he’s got these great cheeks.

behind the name ::.
it’s funny how everyone has been in suspense about the name. we decided not to tell people because of the reactions that we would potentially recieve, not that we care what most people think but after the 30th time…
for example, we told one of the receptionists at the hospital when being checked in and she was like oh, sure, yeah ok, right, with this unassuring look on her face. at that moment lauren and i turned to each other signaling our acknowledgment that this is the reason why we waited not to tell.

here’s some etymology: jayden or its derivative, jadon, can be found in nehemiah 3:7
jadon (yadhon, thankful, perhaps “he will judge” or “plead”) helped to rebuild the wall of jerusalem in company with the men of gibeon and of mizpah. he is called the “meronothite” which also means “joyful shouter”. jadon is the name given by josephus (Ant., VIII, viii, 5; ix, 1) to “the man of God” from judah who confronted jeroboam as he burned incense at the altar in bethel, and who was afterward deceived by the lie of the old prophet (1Ki. 13).

according to one site that tracks baby names, it means, “God has heard”. jaden also ranked 83 in 2004 for top 100 names for boys according to the us census bureau.

nathaniel means, “God has given us” in hebrew and is also one of the 12 apostles.
altogether, very fitting for our boy. he is our praise song.

thanks everyone. we are so overwhelmed by all the love that we’ve received. you all rock!



pain before the child…
i thought it was a complete trip that nic cage named his new son, Kal-el Coppola Cage. for those of you who don’t know, kal-el is the birth name of superman. i’m a big superman nerd so this gives me some joy. lauren and i spent her birthday at macaroni grill trying to figure out baby names. now, when you find out i hope you won’t be disappointed. it’s been fun keeping it under wraps. but anyways…it’ll be…
ANYDAY NOW…any day now…
and already, i’m tired. lots going on with daddy-o. my heart growing weary….

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, Yahweh
Still I’m waiting for the dawn
Take this heart
And make it break

[american born chinese pastor]
seeks to be that third place for those who are american born chinese [abc] in ministry.
here we may explore issues unique to the chinese church and doing ministry in that context
expand the intersection of asian american culture and christian faith
or simply expose what goes on in the mind of this abcpastor

this may be a bit ambitious or even naiive but i do hope that through the posts we can bring together different faith communities, passions for the advancement of the Gospel and the equipping of the body of Christ.

if you are an abc pastor or have any suggestions or would like to contribute to make this space evolve, just comment.

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