thanks CBCM!!! i had the privilege of speaking at the cbcm retreat this weekend. it was a real joy to be there and see some good ol’ friends and make some new ones. cbc youth rock! it was definitely a different retreat. it was…a retreat! it didn’t feel packed with meetings and things u had to do. people laughed, played, praised, listened. retreated.
i learned some lessons myself. i never missed home more even though i enjoyed being away and doing what God has enabled me to do but i missed my family. it was the first real extended time away from them. it’s good to be home again. home is not just the place i lay my head. right now it’s wherever my family is. it would have been even more fun to have lauren and jayden at the retreat but alas!
also there’s just something about retreat food. is it just me? i think the food’s still working its way through my system. and doggonit. i’m crazy sore and tired.
next message: the text given is acts 19:22-41. what to make of this?
this will be a marathon speaking month. 4 down. 6 more messages to prepare. so little time.
when it rains. it pours.
ok can this month get any more difficult? i just found out that my aunt passed away over the weekend. if i wasn’t away i would have witnessed her massive heart attack at a family get together. i almost called her the night before to let her know i won’t be able to attend the gathering at her place but decided to pass on that call. i’m a little regretful that i didn’t now. so many ifs flood my thoughts. i keep rehearsing what i could, shoulda, woulda done. her passing has caused a deeper stirring within me. it’s more than just because i was probably her favorite nephew. as a minister, it’s so much easier to talk to people when they’re not your own family. i don’t know how to respond to my unbelieving cousins who don’t think life or God for that matter is very fair to take both parents who were just embarking on their retirement plans and finally enjoy life. my aunt and uncle worked constantly. typical hard working chinese parents. i just don’t know how to respond. talking on the phone with my cousin was filled with awkwardness. i think they have a certain disdain towards me being a minister. on one hand, there’s a part of me that cries out to everyone – “u better get yo’ house and affairs in order sucka or else!” and there’s another part of me that also screams “it’s not fair.” i have no disillusions about life, it isn’t fair. we’re all dying it’s just a matter of when and how not if. i must make a journey back home to brooklyn. the weather calls for chance of thunder storms by week end.
this will probably be the hardest month of my known existence. baby, i’m not home yet.
“And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. 14People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. 15If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. 16Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.” – Hebrews 11