saw spiderman2 today. didn’t think i would like it because i’ve gotten so weary of all the cgi in movies these days but afterwards i realized that i needed a movie like this. to me, movies are enjoyable and good when the story resonates with my own story. there are times when i need a hearty feel good movie but most other times it’s the art of telling a story. i was utterly suprised at how much i enjoyed spidey today. it did bring back childhood memories. i tried to remember if i had spidey underoos. but more than that, this spidey story is one that reflects the life of those — with a “higher calling”. i’ve had my share of struggles and times where i question, “when do i get to live my life?” so often, my heart is on the floor especially as i see my mother grow more frail, forgetful, alone. i want to love my wife more but so often duty calls. there’s a fear and sense of overwhelment as monthly bills encroach. i get tired. i’ve been in school long enough to become a doctor yet my degree will be lackluster to those desireable three letters phd. my grades aren’t that great but my scholarship depends on maintaining a B average. is it all worth it? then there’s the hypocrisy of living both a private normal life and the public life of ministry. sometimes i feel like i can help others through just about anything but wonder why it is so hard to help myself and those i love most. i wonder if i have a superhero complex?
this sunday at service, i sat in my father’s house. i sang his songs. i stood with those who loved him and not just our voices but our hearts were melodious. i heard his voice, his truth that brings wholeness. i looked then to see the faces of those who are called his beloved. i remembered. i love my God. i love his people more than my own life.
to the pastors and heroes of our churches, to the everyday saints that wonder whether or not it is all worth it. remember you are beloved, chosen. may God send you that touch of love that you so desperately need. the touch that may even save you. look at the cracks, holes, uneveness, the pure junk on the inside of our hearts. that needs to be dealt with and God wants to heal us. Jesus’ healing touch must be the dominant reality of all our lives. so…go get em’ tiger.