a beautiful mess – a discourse of my journey toward wholeness

DISCOURSE \Dis*course”\, v. i. [imp. & p. p. Discoursed; p. pr. & vb. n. Discoursing.] 1. To exercise reason; to employ the mind in judging and inferring; to reason.

cruise control
there are movies we watch over and over again because there are certain characters that we are just drawn to. many of the movies that i enjoy watching repeatedly are tom cruise films — i’m part of the recite every line in top gun club. he’s quintessentially a somewhat tormented soul faced with challenges toward maturity and healing – wholeness. while the crowds are captivated by his incredible boyish charms, i’m drawn more to the fact that he’s always on the verge of great manhood. renee zellweger got it right when she said, “i love him for the guy he wants to be, and i love him for the guy he almost is.” i love that about his characters. i relate.

in fact i think it’s the state that many brothers are in — becoming the men they almost is. it just takes a moment of personal crisis which begs for a decision to be made that proves what you’re really all about. take a stand and be a man. i’m looking forward to the last samurai because it crosses with one of my other favorite genres, samurai flix.

life. honor. art :: i’ve always been fascinated by samurai. hurt myself plenty learning how wield swords as a kid. one of my earliest film experiences was watching the legendary lone wolf and cub at a tender age. but the appeal of the samurai is their way of life, living according to the bushido code and spirit, where honor is more important than your body. much like chivalry. all this has deeply influenced me. perhaps it’s in the blood, being asian and whatnot. but being so I’ve learned early on to forsake my body for things that are worthy. we’ve forgotten what honor is today. there’s a striking balance in the samurai between great violence and art. wielding a sword is potentially lethal but at the same time a graceful art. it speaks of our lives that’s filled with furious chaos while existing the beauty of Christ. look at the cross — violence and beauty. looking deeper samurai interestingly are balanced individuals that appreciate life at large which is the spirit of asian culture as zenlike as it sounds.

“the samurai culture leads not only into poetry, but also into flower arranging. and art. and religion.”
— from john logan, the last samurai writer

mastering the art of life
{there is much more artistry and sensitivity in the code of bushido than we can possibly imagine. a samurai warrior spent as much time arranging flowers, writing poetry and learning calligraphy as he did training with a sword. the totality of that culture wasn’t simply that of the legionnaire but it encompassed so much aesthetic response to the world around him}

it’s the journey of a soul. {there’s a part of the samurai culture that involves a great appreciation for “this moment now”. every single moment. because you could die in the next moment: honorably or dishonorably, but it could happen. so while you are alive in this moment, you have to put your whole heart and soul into anything you’re doing. if you’re writing a poem you have to make it the best poem you can possibly create}

life in the moments. {there are the quiet moments of appreciation of life. the ritual of dressing a man in a kimono, for instance — the celebration of feeling every moment of that process} life is like a running kodak commercial … share the moments share life …

ps :: can’t believe my wife shared this with you all. hey punky’s hot

never leave your wingman. never.
“where my wingmen at?”


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[american born chinese pastor]
seeks to be that third place for those who are american born chinese [abc] in ministry.
here we may explore issues unique to the chinese church and doing ministry in that context
expand the intersection of asian american culture and christian faith
or simply expose what goes on in the mind of this abcpastor

this may be a bit ambitious or even naiive but i do hope that through the posts we can bring together different faith communities, passions for the advancement of the Gospel and the equipping of the body of Christ.

if you are an abc pastor or have any suggestions or would like to contribute to make this space evolve, just comment.

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